Our Original Sexual Self
'Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?'
From The Summer Day by Mary Oliver
Where is our original sensual sexual wild child? The one that laughs and cries without remorse or thought of consequence? The one that is unafraid of those sexy erotic feelings that rise up finding it all so curious, who hasn't learned to condemn. Where has he or she gone and why did they disappear? Most live in exile, imprisoned, with some, sadly, acting out violently in rebellion. It's true, you will be punished if you let him/her out all the time. Society demands a game be played, but can you see the game and drop the pretense to become real again? Consider the price of keeping the masks. What will happen if you expose your authentic vulnerable and wild natural self?
I pray you find a safe haven for this essential part of you even if only in your alone time. Much of the 'so called' perverse sexual appetites come from the suppression of our wild sexual natures. Some is born from our amazing creativity but I believe that much of the dark exploitive sex comes from the loss of our natural innocent sensual sexual selves.
So consider taking a dip. Stick your toe into being natural, unleashed, vulnerable. You can go back to hiding. I've done this off and on for years. Oddly, at some point, a kind of vulnerability starts to feel at home, safe. It seems it would be the opposite or an oxymoron but it's true for me. You learn where the boundaries are and when and where to let your true nature flow. Yes, I do still fear being "tarred and feathered", the ugly rejection. But instead I keep finding more love, more embrace and more joy. I've allowed myself to fully live instead of just exist. What a ride! I'd be lying if I told you it was all fun and easy. That would be a whooper of a lie! I can tell you it's all been worth it. Even in the dark times I felt real, authentic. The more I choose to be real, the more it becomes just who I am. What about you?
