November 2023 Newsletter

 

Happy November, Beloveds!

I hope you all are enjoying these beautiful Fall days! The morning sun is beautiful coming in my front windows today. I've actually been up early recently to enjoy the morning light streaming in. So not my usual thing! Maybe I'll suddenly become a morning person. Unlikely but maybe. I do get more sunlight in if I get up early this time of year. That's a plus.

I'm delighted to report that the ceiling damage in the basement is repaired along with the floor in the kitchen from my dishwasher leak. Yeah! Stan Hearn did a great job for a good price. I'll be starting up in-person classes again in December. I do love teaching here and am grateful to have this comfortable space. Curiously the Fall weather has had me thinking of selling. We shall see what the future holds. I do love to renovate houses. Maybe I got the bug during my repair project. In my first house I lived in one bedroom room while the rest of the house was in total chaos while I slowly renovated it. The only way to flush the toilet was to pour a bucket of water down it. Those were the days. But seriously, I'm not up for that level of challenge anymore!

My book cover mockup I'm delighted that my editor is making progress on my book. I'd love to have it on Amazon by early next year. We shall see. It still is odd not having that project as the daily center of my life. Last month I was squirrelly without it. Happily that has passed. Here's another snippet from my book under the section titled Stumbling Forward: "On a Mission February was a time of integration back into my day-to-day life. I watched many of my old patterns of fear and desire for more of whatever (fill in the blank) re-emerge. As I have read over my many journals, I am both amused and frustrated at the cycles of bliss and doom that rolled through me. I did have better and better ways of dealing with those patterns but they still took me for a ride all too often. I had the delight in March 2008 of visiting with my teacher/friend Saryu Dalal. She told me she could see the transformation and joy in me. "You're not looking for someone to heal or fix you like before. You just are, take it or leave it! You are radiating joy!" she said. I wrote this after her quote in my journal: The 10,000 idiots that I want to believe have left town or died, they are still here...just not in as much control...and some actually have left town or died. Or so I hoped. I had just read 10,000 Idiots by Hafiz: “It is always a danger to aspirants on the Path When they begin to believe and act As if the ten thousand idiots Who so long ruled and lived inside Have all packed their bags And skipped town Or Died” I continue to be humbled when again and again those idiots inside make themselves known to this day!" And of course, I still am.

Upcoming Classes I hope you can join us this Thursday, November 16th for another All Love Zoom from 8pm to 10pm. Dive in and open your heart to feel the love that you are! The fee is $20, and you can use Zelle via my phone number 410-598-1010 (shows my name as Sharon) or PayPal via sherrytuegel@verizon.net. Email me for the link. There will be no All Love in-person class this month but I will have one December 16th. The December All Love Zoom will be on December 21st. It's usually the third Thursday of each month. Would love to see you and share our hearts energy online or in person!

In Closing I always love to hear from you to find out how your life is going and/or hear any reaction to what I have shared with you. Do drop me an email and share about your sweet life. I hold you in my heart sending you love, healing prayers and peace. May you and your loved ones be deeply blessed. Love and Many Sweet Blessing, Sherry

After much silence I'm sharing my August, September and October 2023 Newsletters here. Hoping to share more soon. 💞

Happy August, Beloveds!

Hard to believe we are already halfway through August! I hope you've been enjoying your summer delights and vacations! No major vacations for me this year but I did get away for a 4-day class in Fairfax, Virigina with Patrick Zeigler, staying in Leesburg with the Sweidels. Thank you, Monica and Marty! I'm still integrating the work I did in Patrick's All Love class. As always, it was humbling to watch the transformations and openings around me. I walked into the class with such a sense of ease and contentment. That got shaken up by the end of the morning of the third day. Patrick pushed me hard. I spent lunch in tears feeling my heart torn open. That opened a door for me and by the end of the day, I went into Samadhi. My mind went totally silent and still, the deepest waking silence I have ever experienced. Here is the definition of Samadhi from www.ananda.org: "Perfect union of the individualized soul with infinite spirit. (1) A state of oneness; complete absorption. (2) Samadhi, which literally means “to direct together,” is the state in which the yogi perceives the identity of his soul as spirit. (3) It is an experience of divine ecstasy as well as of superconscious perception; the soul perceives the entire universe. (4) In other words, human consciousness becomes one with cosmic consciousness. (5) The soul realizes that it is much more than the conditioned body. (6) Christian saints have previously described this experience as “mystical marriage,” in which the soul merges into God and becomes one with Him. (7)" There are a lot of words above for the wordless state I experienced. I've tasted moments of it before. On July 30th I stayed in that deep silence until my classmates and Patrick started dancing over me to bring me back. The class was ending for the day and they needed me to 'come back'. I would best describe the experience as perfect emptiness. Now to move into it again and again until I can live there and be awake and functioning here at the same time! I was not the first or the last to experience this state in this class. Thank you, Patrick, for opening the way for me and many others! Om Namah Shivah!

Coming Soon ... I Hope! Having never published a book before, I may be exaggerating by saying it will be out soon. I'm in the editing phase and believe I've finally completed my memoir. I started writing it in 2010 and hope by the end of 2023 I'll have it self-published on Amazon. We shall see. The memoir concentrates mostly on my life between 2008 and 2015. The title, Stripped Naked and Other Songs of Love, came to me in New Zealand in 2008 on my All Love/Tantra Retreat with Patrick and Natalie Zeigler. Patrick wants me to make it clear, which I believe I have in the book and now here, that he is not teaching or offering Tantra. That was Natalie's gift. I'm considering adding a subtitle: Birth of a Sacred Intimate. We shall see. The first quote under the title at the very beginning of the book is from Osho: “Before he can come to know himself, a man has to become naked; he has to drop all his clothes. We not only wear clothes on the outside, we also wear clothes on the inside, in the mind.” ~ Osho I share intimate details of my life and healing journey as well as my Tantric practice; so this book will not be for everyone. In the introduction I say: "Throughout these pages I've shared many intimate sexual details. If you’re uncomfortable with explicit sexual content, much of this book is not for you. My sexual journey played a powerful role in my heart's evolution. I hope to encourage readers to let go of making sex wrong and use that powerful energy to propel you into ecstasy and the truth of your being. It's all part of the joy of being alive in this precious body!" I've had several people ask me over the years, 'who is your audience?' I finally can answer that question. It's people who will love the book. Maybe you will love it, maybe not. You'll have to let me know. Having finally gotten to the editing stage I have a song from YouTube I want to share to celebrate the journey! Enjoy! Happy

I hope you can join us this Thursday, August 17th for another All Love Zoom from 8pm to 10pm. Dive in and open your heart to feel the love that you are! The fee is $20, and you can use Zelle via my phone number 410-598-1010 (shows my name as Sharon) or PayPal via sherrytuegel@verizon.net. Email me for the link. There will be no All Love in-person class this month due to vacation schedules, but I will have one on September 16th. See above. The September All Love Zoom will be on September 14th. It's usually the third Thursday of each month. Hope to see soon!

In Closing I always love to hear from you to find out how your life is going and/or hear any reaction to what I have shared with you. Drop me an email if you have the time! I hold you in my heart sending you love, healing prayers and peace. May you and your loved ones be deeply blessed. Love and Many Sweet Blessing, Sherry

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Happy September, Beloveds!

I know it still is Summer out, but I wanted to share a little of the coming Fall colors above! Fall Equinox is about eleven days away on Thursday the 21st. I hope you're enjoying the longer nights and occasional cooler weather as we head into Fall. I know am! It has been an interesting time for me having finally finished the book and sent it to my editor. I'm adjusting to not having writing as the center of my day. Instead, I keep going over the book to see what I need to change, remove or reword. I may drive my editor crazy with my updates. Luckily, she hasn't started editing the book yet. I enjoyed making a mockup of the book cover (sans the spine) on PowerPoint using Susan Singer's painting of me called "The Bliss of It All". Here's what I have so far. The block with the title needs to be changed using something softer. I'd love to have my book published on Amazon by the end of the year. We shall see. Let me know what you think of my cover mockup. I hope the description and cover art are enticing!

Upcoming Classes Last month I sent out the wrong date for the in-person All Love class. It's the 23rd of September not the 16th. See below. I've settled on the third Thursdays of the month for the All Love Zooms. Join me online on Thursday, September 21st at 8pm to 10pm. Here is the link: Join Zoom Meeting https://us02web.zoom.us/j/89184110786?pwd=SFVOSVV0d1cvUGEwTFlUeWJsdmJSQT09 Meeting ID: 891 8411 0786 Passcode: 475930 The fee is $20 and you can pay me via Zelle using my phone number, 410-598-1010 (Preferred - name shows as Sharon Tuegel) or on PayPal via my email address: sherrytuegel@verizon.net. I'd love to know ahead of time if you plan to attend. Hope to see you online or here at Sturgis! These gatherings continue to delight and amaze me!

In Closing I hope your days are filled with love and joy as you embrace whatever challenges life brings. May you tenderly hold the part of you that sometimes suffers letting go of whatever must or needs to go. Each day I spend time remembering the eternal soul that I am. That gives me deep peace and connects me with love and a renewed strength to face the moments of my day. I've felt a bit tired and challenged recently. I had two nights I dreamt of my brakes failing. I thought it was my anxiety over finally putting the book out, or that my brakes needed fixing, maybe both. I took the car to the mechanic, just in case, and the front brakes were completely gone. Glad I listened to my dreams! I hear the 'energies' are improving out there. I feel lighter these last few days, happily. I hope you are feeling good too! As always, I love to hear from you and what is happening in your life! Sending you my love and many sweet blessings! Love Always, Sherry ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Happy October, Beloveds! I hope you are enjoying the beginning of Fall with its variable weather and the days getting shorter! (More on that shortly.) I'm excited to report that my editor will be starting on my book very soon! Yeah! Will let you know as things progress. Speaking of exciting, last week friends and I found a leak in my basement from my dishwasher. Thank you, Kathy and Loren, for helping me clean up the mess! I had to cancel my September in-person All Love gathering and will hopefully start up again in November (October All Love Zoom will still be on the third Thursday 8pm to 10pm). I'm not sure when the basement work will be competed but hopefully by the end of this month. We shall see. My dehumidifier continues to be taking 2 gallons of water out of the room in less than 24 hours and has been doing so for over a week. Wow! Praying things will all go smoothly as the work gets going! The darker days and cooler weather coupled with my house damage made me a little squirrely recently. Today's (10/2/23) sunny warmth was a welcome change, but I must confess that I feel like a failure when my mood drops down. Apparently, I am still fully human and full of ego reactions and needs. Who knew?!? Hah! I'm longing for the feeling of complete contentment and ease I tasted recently in Patrick Zeigler's July class, along with the breakthrough into Samadhi. I keep saying I came here for the contrast, to quote Abraham-Hicks. When my contrast includes depression and fear, I begin to wonder about the ride I'm on. I start looking for an escape. My dear friend Kathy is studying Buddhism, and her example has me re-reading "When Things Fall Apart - Heart Advice for Difficult Times" by Pema Chodron. Chapter One is 'Intimacy with Fear.' Here is a quote from that chapter: "It's not a terrible thing that we feel fear when faced with the unknown. It is part of being alive, something we all share. We react against the possibility of loneliness, of death, of not having anything to hold onto. Fear is a natural reaction to moving closer to the truth. - If we commit ourselves to staying right where we are, then our experience becomes very vivid. Things become very clear when there is nowhere to escape." And yet I keep looking for escape. So very human and fallible, I am. As I have said before, Beloveds, I'm a continuing work in progress. Completing the book has been a mixture of delight and 'what do I do now?' The book was a constant companion and ongoing purpose for over 13 years. I'm working on embracing this shift of focus with curiosity and wonder, when I'm not running from the discomfort of it. Interestingly, sharing this with you has helped smooth my ruffled feathers. (Wink Wink) I'd be curious to know how you are navigating the inevitable changes in your life. Drop me a note and let me know. In Closing Please contact me at this email, sherrytuegel@verizon.net, if you'd like the link to my October 19th All Love Zoom class. Last month was a wonderful loving gathering! Thanks everyone who joined me! The fee is $20. May your Fall be full of joy, visible and/or invisible, as each moment unfolds. Sending much Love and Many Blessings, Sherry

Beyond Breast Cancer

Greetings Beloveds!  

It's been a while since I posted.  Confronting breast cancer is one of many reasons why. On September 2nd, 2021 I had the cancer removed from my left breast.  I'm lucky that it was small (6mm), slow growing and "well-behaved" and that all was removed with no questions remaining.  I was one in every 8 women that get breast cancer in the US.  Shocking statistics!  This all has been, at times, overwhelming. I was out of it from the anesthesia for several days after my out patient 'Twilight Sleep' surgery.  My incision healed well but has left me with a 3 to 4 inch scar to remind me of the day.  I no longer match my early nude photos here.  Lots of changes before that too, as age will do.  The 'cancer medical machine' helped me and was also part of what overwhelmed me.  Happily I've been lifted up by friends and loving healers that lead me to decide not to continue any treatment. None of those friends or healers told me what to do. I chose. The well-behaved nature of my cancer makes me comfortable with my decision.  I know I am very lucky in the type of cancer that showed up and for that I'm deeply grateful!  

This has been a pivotal experience that's made me look at my life and make a few new choices.  Here's part of my October newsletter to share some of my process.  Sending you love as you move through your days!

Saying goodbye to Sofie

The Noble Victim aka Holier Than Thou So I have another confession. I’ve been holding on to my victim. I really wasn’t aware of it till after my breast cancer surgery. I just thought it normal to continue grieving over my many losses and, in part, it absolutely is but there was a subtler undertone of victim lurking about in the natural grief. I’d thought that I had confronted the victim in me and let it go years ago. I was apparently deluding myself. Close friends will tell you happily that that is not unusual for me. After my lumpectomy, while I confronted having cancer, I realized I really don’t want to be alone. Sitting alone in the days prior to my surgery, I grieved the loss of Margie who was a wonderful constant companion. I wanted a companion, a friend and more than Margie, a partner/lover. I know now that I don’t “have to have it” but I do honestly want that special someone in my life. My litany of doubts and fears flooded out of me. I was afraid to want someone again. I didn’t know if I could handle another loss that intimate. I didn’t know if I could watch another become ill and slowly or not so slowly die. I wasn’t sure it was worth it to risk the loss. This is the complete reversal of my earlier “got to have it” drive that filled my life with longing whenever I was out of relationship and, truthfully, sometimes when I was in one. I’m relieved and proud of myself that I no longer long for someone to complete me. But somewhere along the way I may have thrown the baby out with the bathwater. My fear of loss created a barrier. My victim from those losses is keeping away any potential lover-companion. The day of my surgery I asked my gifted friend Kathy if there was a lover in my future. She felt a prickliness inside me that was keeping away any possible connection. When I looked at what it was, I quickly recognized my victim energy. Why was I holding onto this energy? Then I remembered that when my second husband left me, I used that victimization as a moral high ground. I was somehow the noble victim. I had a self-righteous indignation and it felt good or at least I was quite comfortable using my position to get whatever needs I had filled. Not an attractive look on me, for sure. It’s hard to admit how my ‘holier than thou’ played out. It’s not easy looking at this and to confess it here. Of all the losses where I ended up feeling victim to the experience, there is only one loss that causes me embarrassment or a sense of shame. That’s the loss where I feel victim to my own inadequacy. I blame myself for the loss of my beautiful home in Towson. I grieve it still but have no noble victim energy around that loss. Instead, there is the tinge of shame. I never became the millionaire I tried to attract into my life. I failed at my ‘law of attraction’. Well, I’ve failed so far. LOL! The ‘noble victim’ does raise its head around the many deaths of loved ones over recent years. That's where most of that prickly energy resides, putting a full stop to any potential intimate partnership. Happily, my heart is still open to loving friendships. I do admit that even as those friendships deepen there is a bit of fear in the me. I watch it and let it go. I like to think of myself as a well-balanced openhearted individual. I’ve recently discovered, once again, that ‘it ain’t necessarily so’. My shadow is still in need of the light of consciousness. I’m choosing to, once again, let go of my victim. I love her and honor her for all that she has done trying to protect me as I enfold her in my arms and I let her go. She is a part of me that can step back now as I unlock the hidden doors in my heart. Doors I thought were open. I’m willing to suffer a great loss again. I am willing to open my heart fully, partner or no partner. And so it is.

A Little Osho Wisdom All these waves of emotion and my recent wants and fears have once again shown how discontent I am. My busy mind is very good at finding ways to be miserable. I thought I'd share some Osho wisdom that kicked my ass: "People are constantly living in discontent about everything. It is a habit. It is not that if they have more money and a better house and a better wife or a better son or a better job they will be contented - it is not that. Whatsoever they have they will remain discontented. Poor, they will be discontented; rich, they will be discontented. Discontent is a habit of the mind. Mind can never be contented. Once you understand this, a miracle happens; then you can put the mind aside because it is never going to give you contentment. That is not in its nature, so you are asking for the impossible. And what cannot happen, cannot happen - it is futile. This has been the experience of the whole of humanity for centuries. Still, everybody tries, hoping that he is an exception - nobody is an exception. And discontentment creates misery. If you understand why you are discontented, if you don't find any excuses on the outside and you see that it is the functioning of the mind, then the functioning can be dropped. The question is to see it. Don't believe it because I say it is so - you have to see it. Watch your mind. Look at the past. Many times you thought if you could get a certain thing you would be happy, and you got it and you were not happy. This has happened so many times but you don't learn the lesson, nobody learns the lesson. People go on landing in the same pitfalls again and again. Learn that your mind is the cause of all discontentment and then there is misery and then there is hell. Drop the mind and with it all misery and all hell disappears and suddenly a revelation happens to you - your innermost core is full of bliss. So, watch the mind and all its tricks that it goes on playing upon you. To have a transformation nothing else is required, only watchfulness of the mechanism of mind. And, through that understanding, things start happening of their own accord, effortlessly, quietly." ~Osho

Monday evenings are precious to me since beginning my All Love Zoom. The gatherings open my heart and fill me with deep peace. The sweet connection between those who gather makes my week! I hope you will join us. Drop me an email at sherrytuegel@verizon.net for the link!

In Closing I love Abraham Hicks's question, "Are you enjoying your contrasts?" I have been riding through a bunch recently. Life is all about contrast. I'm still working with being with what is as I restart my 'meditation practice'. I have spent the last years stopping briefly and becoming present tasting momentary stillness and peace with only occasional long meditations. I intend to begin my daily sitting again to stop my "monkey mind" from its amazingly creative dramas. It amazes me how I still run away from the very thing that brings me Bliss. WTF? On the embodied front, I begin a medication soon to keep cancer from returning. I'm very lucky to not have to do radiation or Chemo. I wanted to just believe it was gone for good after surgery but that isn't how cancer works, apparently. This has been hard for me to accept. Hopefully this new medication will be healthy for my body. Prayers welcome, Beloveds! Thank you for reading my newsletter to the end and riding along with me in my ups and downs recently. I'd love to hear from you about your journeys and if any of my confessions and realizations ring a bell for you. Have a wonderful October and remember to be kind to yourself! Love and Blessings Always, Sherry

410-598-1010 www.body-beloved.com

©2021 Body Beloved | sherrytuegel@verizon.net

Ego Egat Egolly

Self Consumed  -  July 7, 2021

I’ve spent my life self-consumed, I’m sad to say. I never was very interested in service or volunteer work. In the 1970s a friend said to me that the ‘yoke’ had walked away. She was referring to the women who had gone to work and no longer volunteered their services. These women had been the yoke that held society together through their volunteer service. After that conversation I frowned upon offering work for free, even though I seldom volunteered prior to that conversation. I wanted to be valued as men were valued and paid for their work. It made me suspicious of organizations that expected volunteerism. Most were run by men who benefited financially and emotionally from the care of their volunteers who were, indeed, mostly women.

Now, late in life, I’ve begun to value service. As I look back on my life, I’m seeing a selfish self-absorbed individual. I’m part amused and part ashamed of the values I carried in my younger years. I was fully enmeshed in the consumer culture and bought into the ideas of winning by making a lot of money. From the part of me that felt inferior I had an “I’ll show them” attitude. I never did. I thought I was definitely out to win and at the same time I was a lazy maverick, quite comfortable with B and C grades. It was more important for me to have fun then to study and work hard. I have a big lazy streak along with a deep desire for pleasure. Food and sex rank high on my list but above all friendship and good conversation. 

I was raised by a proper Southern woman. You were to dress and act in a polite socially acceptable manner. Wearing overalls and no bra in front of my grandparents was not acceptable but, of course, in the 70s I did. Part of me has totally accepted the cultural conditioning I was raised in. I have a very functional super ego. The other part of me, the maverick, disdains my conditioning. My super ego wasn't embedded with much drive for volunteerism, however. I don’t remember my parents encouraging me to volunteer other than once or twice for our Quaker Meeting’s yard sale. Maybe it just fell on deaf ears.

Now, at this late age, I hope to be of better service and be less self-absorbed. As always, I’m a work in progress. It’s not that I haven’t offered support and assistance of some kind over the years. I just wish I had been more aware of what I could have offered and had not been so busy trying to mimicking Martha Stewart. For example, in the early 1990s I had a beautiful wedding and have the pictures to prove it. I loved being fussed over by my bridesmaids before the service. It may have been my favorite part of the wedding. I did my best to make Martha Stewart proud that day. During the event my father had to wear a wool tuxedo. He did so even though he was terribly allergic to wool. I glimpsed the suffering on his face when he asked to change before the pictures were taken. Add to that my mother’s Alzheimer’s kept my family on high alert, making sure she was okay. I look back at the selfishness of that day now and sometimes weep.     “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”  

It’s as if I have lived many lives and most of the time I’ve sung the “me me me” song. Sometime in the early 80s I wrote this little poem that I recite to myself on occasion:

Ego…Egat…Egolly,

I’m stuck on a self-possessed trolley.

I’d get off the train,

but it feels such a strain,

and leaving seems such a great folly. 

I think I’m ready to get off the train!  Please let me know if you see me taking another ride. I'm sure I will.

Greetings Beloveds after many moons have passed!

In my recent newsletter I made a confession and wanted to share it here. I was talking recently to a beloved friend who was very worried about her ailing dad. I encouraged her to let the worry go even though I’ve spent most of my life worrying. Yes, I’m a champion worrier and came by it honest, following in the footsteps of my grandmother and mom. As someone said, ‘my life is full of tragedies that never happened’. I’m tired of the ghosts of possible tragedies stealing the light of my present moment. The lead character in the movie 'Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them' tells his friend not to worry as they confront one of the Beasts. His friend asks if there is any danger as he is being donned with protective gear. The lead replies, 'yes there's danger, but why suffer twice? So I’m turning over a new leaf and working on worrying less. When I catch myself feeling anxious about what might happen, I stop and remember that I’m imagining and fearing an illusion. I breathe deeply into the now and let it go. My life has a lot more peace and ease these days.

Speaking of worry and danger, Osho, the amazing rascal guru, has a book called Courage, The Joy of Living Dangerously. He says the more we try to be safe the more we're trying to be dead. Life is unsafe, only death is safe since then the fear of pain and death is gone. It's a radical but honest view. Somehow I believed that worry would make me safer. It didn't. It only made me more miserable. So, wish me well on my new 'leaf' and if you catch me worrying point it out so I can let it go!

Love to you! 

The Gift of a Glance

If I could give you anything I'd give you love so deep freedom opens up inside you.   A freedom immersed in peace and joy.  This love and freedom does not require anything of you, nor do I need to give it to you.  It remains hidden in all of us waiting for a glance in its direction. Give it a glance and see what happens. 

I love you, Beloveds!